How To Trick People into Thinking You are American.
HOW TO BE AMERICAN AT THE SHOPPING MALL
- First thing you must do is to walk up to some random stranger and say “OMG, I love your dress! Where did you get it?”. Make sure you sound genuinely impressed by her dress. After that, you can try “OMG, I loooooove your nails too!” fallowed by “OMG, Your haircut looks great on you”. If your target runs off because you are being creepy, just chase them down while shouting “OMG, how can you run so fast????”
- Have hand sanitizer on you. If you touch money, hand sanitizer. If you touch your face, hand sanitizer. If anyone touches your face, then hand sanitize your face.
- Buy a lot of things. The more the better. Just make sure you read the reviews first.
HOW TO BE AMERICAN AT A PARTY
- Make sure to pop some bottles. If you can make it rain, even better
- Always have a drink in your hands
- Lean against the wall for as long as possible
- Shots!
- Do not freaking dance. Americans don’t do that
- If it’s a house party, then BYOB, you cheap bastard.
HOW TO BE AMERICAN AT SCHOOL
- Forget everything you know about Geography. Pretend you think Uruguay is in Africa and Montenegro is in South America.
- Learn all the rules of beer-pong (very important)
HOW TO BE AMERICAN AT HOME
- Watch TV while texting, eating dinner and checking your Facebook.
- Do all of the above while cleaning the house or cooking
- By cooking I mean throwing something in the microwave or opening up a can of something.
- Buy a big ass HDTV
- Own a Playstation, an XBox and a Wii. (totally ok if you don’t have time to play any of them)
Det här måste vara det roligaste jag läst på länge! skrattade så jag grinade när jag läste det här första gången. Det roligaste är att allt stämmer så jäkla bra.
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